How Do I Get My Baby to Eat?
Rethinking Feeding Through a BLW Perspective
Feeding doesn’t start with “getting your baby to eat.” It starts with letting go of the pressure to make them.
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It’s one of the top questions I get in my DMs, in Facebook groups, and from moms just like you:
“How do I get my baby to eat?”
Maybe you’ve said it yourself, whispering it after a mealtime that felt more like a battle than a bonding moment. You serve the food. They barely touch it. You wonder, “Is something wrong? Are they getting enough? Should I be doing more?”
Take a deep breath.
Here’s the short answer:
You don’t “get” your baby to eat.
The longer answer? It’s a mindset shift — and it can change everything about how you approach feeding.
Let’s dig into what baby-led weaning really means, why the pressure to eat backfires, and what to focus on instead.
It’s Not Your Job to Make Eating Happen
Let’s start here: It is not your job to make your baby eat.
Your job is to offer opportunities. Their job is to decide what and how much goes in.
That’s the heart of baby-led weaning — and it aligns beautifully with a concept called the division of responsibility in feeding.
Here’s what that looks like:
Your role: Decide what to offer, when to offer it, and where it happens (like in the high chair, not in front of a screen).
Your baby’s role: Decide if they eat, what they eat from what’s offered, and how much.
When we stay in our lane and let baby stay in theirs, things feel calmer. But when we try to cross over — pushing bites, pleading with them to eat — we often create more resistance.
Because here’s the truth: Feeding is a skill, not just a nutritional transaction.
Food Is About Practice, Not Perfection
Picture this: Your baby is sitting in the high chair squishing avocado into their bib, smearing it on their tray, maybe licking it once before flinging it to the floor.
You sigh and think, “They didn’t eat anything!”
But what you didn’t see was:
Hand-eye coordination development
Sensory exploration
Mouth awareness
Tongue movement practice
Growing familiarity with new textures
That messy moment? It’s a win.
Too often, we measure success by what goes in. But with baby-led weaning, success is what’s being learned
Think about how babies learn to walk:
Wobbly steps. A million falls. Constant practice.
We don’t rush walking. We celebrate it. We know the falls are part of the process.
Feeding is the same.
Your baby is learning how to pick up food, bring it to their mouth, chew, move it around, and eventually swallow. That takes time — and the journey matters more than the bites.
Every squish, every chew, every tiny nibble is part of the learning.
Feeding Is Like Learning to Walk
Your Role: Set the Stage, Not Control the Show
Your job isn’t to count bites or coerce food into their mouth. It’s to set the stage for learning.
That means:
Creating calm, inviting mealtimes
Sitting with your baby and eating alongside them
Offering a variety of safe, nutritious finger foods
Modeling what eating looks like — without pressure
Skip the airplane spoons and "just one more bite" routines. They come from love, but often create power struggles. Instead, think: connection over control.
Trust Your Baby’s Appetite (Even When It Changes)
Some days your baby will surprise you — devouring scrambled eggs and reaching for more.
Other days? They’ll reject the same food completely.
That doesn’t mean they hate it or that something’s wrong. It means appetite shifts. That’s normal.
One skipped meal doesn’t undo all your efforts. Just keep offering and trusting. Because…
Your baby is more intuitive than you think.
They know when they’re full. They know what they need.
When we override those signals — forcing extra bites or “topping up” with purees just to be sure — we can actually interfere with their natural hunger cues.
Let’s protect those instead. Offer, support, trust. Repeat.
But What If They’re Not Swallowing Much?
Totally normal.
Early on, solids are practice, not replacement.
As long as your baby is getting enough breast milk or formula, they’re right on track.
You don’t need to “top off” with cereal or purées just because not much went down. That actually sends a confusing message that food only counts if it’s consumed.
Instead, celebrate every interaction:
A lick
A sniff
A gum
A spit-out
A full body smear
It all counts. It all builds skills. It all matters.
Real-Life Example: Teething, Sickness, and Appetite Swings
Your baby’s solids intake will ebb and flow — and that’s exactly how it should be.
Teething? They might not eat much for days.
Growth spurt? Suddenly ravenous.
Sick? Meals might be skipped completely until they bounce back.
None of that means you’re failing.
It means your baby is human.
It means you’re doing great by continuing to offer.
This Isn’t Just for Babies
We tend to think this mindset shift only applies to babies. But really? It’s for kids of all ages.
Thankfully, we’ve moved past the “clean plate club” mentality of past generations. And that’s good — because when we pressure kids to finish food, we disconnect them from their internal cues.
So even as your baby grows, remember: your role is to provide the food, structure, and environment.
Their role is to decide what goes in their belly.
That never changes.
Want More Support on This?
If this message is resonating, you’ll love these episodes too:
🎧 Episode 25: Trusting the Process, Even If Baby Isn't Eating Meat Yet
🎧 Episode 31: Why BLW Is About More Than What’s on the Plate
🎧 Episode 36: Just Playing with Food? How That Builds Skills in BLW
Each one builds on today’s theme — and they’ll help you feel more confident trusting your baby’s timeline.
Practical Strategies to Try This Week
Let’s get actionable. Here are 5 ways to shift your feeding energy:
Create a calm, screen-free space
Sit together. Eat together. Ditch distractions.Offer a variety of safe finger foods
Think color, texture, and exposure.Stay consistent and patient
Skills build over many meals. Keep showing up.Celebrate every step — not just swallowing
Smelling, touching, licking — it all counts.Trust their cues
Babies know when they’re full. Trust that.
And remember: Repetition is your friend.
Babies may need 10–20 exposures to a food before accepting it. So if they spit out broccoli today? Offer it again next week. And again after that.
Final Words of Encouragement
Mama, I know you’re trying so hard to do what’s best.
You’re juggling bottles, naps, laundry, work, and about 14 open tabs in your brain at all times. Then feeding enters the picture, and the internet hands you a list of “shoulds” and “nevers” and “you’re-doing-it-wrongs.”
Let’s take that pressure off your plate.
You do not need to make your baby eat.
You simply need to show up, offer, model, and trust.
Your baby is learning. And you’re doing beautifully.
💛 If you’re loving this podcast, leave a review and upload a screenshot at babyledweaningacademy.com/review — I’ll send you a little treat as a thank-you!
🎧 Ready for a step-by-step plan to start solids with calm and confidence?
Join my course: BLW Academy 101: The First Two Weeks at babyledweaningacademy.kit.com/firsttwoweeks
You’ve got this — and I’ve got you. 💛